Need Help Improving Your Sex Life?
It can be hard to admit, but if you and your partner have not had sex in more than a month to up to a year; it is time to talk about it. Sex is a key factor distinguishing a friendship from an intimate relationship.
But do not worry…you are not alone. Sex (or a lack there of) is one of the most common issues (besides communication) causing couples to pursue couples counseling.
Simply Put: Make it a bigger priority in your life.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Just do it. The hard part is that in real life, life's other demands take over. You decide to stay late at work, need to pick up the kids, clean up, grab groceries - the list can go on. Finding a way to make physical intimacy a priority in your relationship must happen every single day. If you don’t hold space for that to happen, another, less interesting, task will quickly take its place.
Get a medical checkup.
Go to your doctor and rule out any medical condition potentially contributing to the situation. Many over look this step because no one thinks they could have a medical issue related to sexual function or intimacy, and find out far too late that they do.
Care about your Partner's feelings.
Of course you care about your partner's feelings, right? Well, perhaps not all the time. If you always reject your spouse when they approach you for sex, that doesn’t feel good. Even if you say “no” – be sweet about it. After all, someone just asked if they could make love to you and you are turning it down.
Steal intimacy whenever you can.
Even if it is just a kiss goodbye, a kiss goodnight, a quick hand hold, keep intimacy alive. Start small and then build. Physical touch doesn’t have to only be sex. It can be small simple gestures to say that you notice and love them.
The hardest part is saying yes.
Often people say, “I always usually say no, and after some prodding, I eventually cave in and realize…I’m glad I said yes.” Put simply – more often times than not, you will be happy you said yes. The catch, however, is to learn to say yes first.