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The Effects of Being Chronically Late on your Relationship


Tools and tips for every day relationship problems. Blog posts on how to stop conflict, how to have more intimacy and how to have better communication with your husband, wife or partner.

The Effects of Being Chronically Late on your Relationship

Erika Boissiere

Is your wife, husband or partner always late?

For many, even the word "late" leads to feelings of frustration and stress. One partner may sit tapping their foot while the other 's heart races. Sometimes being late is unavoidable, but when it happens all the time, it can be a much bigger problem. Ask yourself: are you chronically late? If you answered, "yes", or even "maybe", here are 5 easy tips to help you change from being late to being on time.

Change your starting point

Simply reframing how you think about your schedule - the starting point as the time by which you need to leave, instead of the time by which you need to arrive, can be an easy and effective tool to help you manage your time better.  For example, if you need to meet your husband at dinner at 6:00PM, and you know it takes a half hour to get there, tell yourself (and those around you), "I need to leave here no later than 5:15PM." 

Give yourself a buffer

As we all know, things often do not go as planned. Perhaps there is road work, a broken down bus, a cab that takes the worst route - whatever it is, give yourself a 15 minute buffer. Your stress, your heart rate and your relationship will all thank you.

If you're chronically late, you are asking others to chronically wait

To be candid, chronically late people are often perceived as selfish, period. Of course things will come up that are unavoidable, it is important to remember that asking someone to chronically wait is unacceptable.

When are you not late?

If your boss asked you be at dinner at 6PM, would you show up late? Our guess is...probably not. You would plan ahead and take steps to ensure that you would be on time. Apply those same behaviors to connecting with your partner. If you are capable of doing it one situation, you can do it in another.

You will get better

As with any habitual behavior, it is can be hard to change overnight. However, improvements in punctuality can can quickly be realized. Remind yourself of these 5 tips before walking out the door to your next obligation. Your efforts will show your partner that you are capable of change, that you respect their time, and most importantly, that you are dependable. These three things are each important elements to a healthy relationship.

Still Having Trouble?

Consider couples counseling. Learn about our services or contact us here.